2015 is only 5 months away, just let that sink in
What the fuck does the sink want now
When ur teacher thinks you’re listening but ur really eating spaghetti
This would pretty much be the ideal honeymoon/young married couple trip. Camping a new place every night, seeing new places each day—or every few days, what’s the hurry anyway? You really bond with anyone you have to share a tiny tent with. You might as well be in love with them and see the country at the same time.
Dad’s gotten 1000% better talking about periods since we started using Shark Week euphemisms:
"Ah, it’s Shark Week?" = "Ah, you started your period?"
"Harpoons on deck?" = "Do you have enough pads/tampons/etc?"
"Chum stocks are holding?" = "Do you need chocolate/midol?"
"Supplies are low cap’n" = "Yes, please."
"What kind (of shark) is it?" = "How do you feel?"
- "It’s a Nurse Shark" = "I’m fine/not bad"
- "GREAT WHITE OFF THE STARBOARD BOW" = "FUCKING OW"
I am loaf